実践ビジネス英語 2015年8月 The Writers' Workshop

5月6月とエッセーが続いたので、7月はさぼってしまいました。。エッセーは事象の描画が多く、動詞で詰まることが多いのでかなり苦しいのですが、8月号は小説で楽しそうだったので取り組んでみました。 今月は伊岡瞬 氏の「痣」という小説から一部抜粋して和訳する問題でした。英文自体は平易ですが、日本語だと行間や句読点の間が多いです。例えば


といった一文。僕が訳すと "In addition, she said she had something to talk to me tonight." という味気のない文章になってしまいます。。また、この小説、日本語だと「雨」「傘」「雲」「空」といった漢字がちりばめられていて、じめっとした感触が伝わってくるのですが、表音文字の英語だと、僕が訳すとちょっと味気ないです。回答例がどのようにこのニュアンスを訳すのかが楽しみです。

When he got off a bus stop, it was raining more heavily than in the early evening. Big raindrops hit the asphalt road very hard and raised white splashes.

Osamu Makabe ran under a keyaki tree on a side of the walkway and looked up at the sky with leaning against its rough thick trunk. The clouds look thick clearly even with the night view. It doesn't seem to stop raining for a while. Passengers who got off with me shrugged their shoulders and opened their umbrellas quickly, and then disappeared in no time.

I can't find any convenient stores that have plastic umbrellas around here. I regret a little not bringing an spare umbrella with me tonight even though I usually don't do that just in case.

I told Aasami, my wife, the approximate time to come back home, but also asked her not to come for me. I guess she's frying my favorite home-made spring rolls now. Today is the second wedding anniversary. In addition, she said she had something to talk to me tonight. Though she seemed to make me surprised, Makabe is vaguely aware of what she will tell him. Probably she is expecting a baby. She has looked so cheerful for this week. Okay, I'm going to rush in this heavy rain on my way home---